MELVINS REVIEW CONTEST RESULTS.

I did win the "Sugar Daddy-Live" review contest. Top honors went to me, an asshole who submitted five reviews, in which every single one of them mentioned the music contained on the album. There was no Melvins-ass kissing, and no instances of which went over the Melvins-imposed 100 word limit. (Or it would have been disqualified.) What a bunch of WIN. Seriously. Reading through all of the submissions, there were many people who actually addressed the album, and while there were some poorly written "please give me a t-shirt" bullshit alongside about a hundred proclamations of "Melvins rule" or "best band ever" snorgwallowing, at least they tried. For me, it was that I wanted the autographed t-shirt- I've seen the Melvins plenty of times but have no signed stuff, but I also wanted this minor vindication from people who I respect. I didn't know what to think about some of the bloated, over-written and pretentious reviews that were posted though. Like some butthurt douche wrote stuff like "Lumbering behemoth “Eye Flies” leads the charge to a thrashtastic metallized latter half of the set, culminating in a ferocious shitstorm of songs that would make Slayer slit their wrists out of dizzied jealousy." (>.<) I always knew the Melvins were smarter than that. Obviously they were looking for something different, and humorous. But knowing Melvins like I do, they enjoy non-sequitors and utter and total bullshit. Obviously, or I wouldn't have won. Overall, what a load of fricking great reviews! Jesus friggin' Marimba. I'm happy! LOLOLOLOLOL